I am writing this post just to let people know that 'Patience is the key to success' and there is always light at the end of the tunnel. I may sound philosophical here but believe me I am not trying to dart out advice to anyone out here, just sharing my feelings.
I had planned for an end June graduation for my masters program here in TU Delft. You must be wondering, how can someone plan for one's graduation, isn't it a structured and organized thing by the university. Well, it is for the universities in the US, UK and India (as far as my knowledge is concerned) but not in the Dutch universities. Here students can choose as many courses as they want besides their masters program and study as long as they want, so practically they can decide when they want to graduate. The normal course period is 2 years but the Dutch students study for 3 years, taking their own sweet time and engaging themselves in many other activities. The international students on the other hand try to wrap it up as soon as possible because of financial constraints, the tuition fee for the internationals being 5 times more than the local fee.
I am one of the fellows falling under the international students category, so I planned for my graduation on 28 June 2012, so that I can save on two months of tuition fees. Everything was going according to the plan and even till June 15 my supervisor was giving me hope that I could graduate on the date I wanted. But suddenly things turned upside down, my supervisor wanted me to add a few more things to my thesis report and by the time I made those changes it was quite late to graduate on my chosen date. The very thought of paying tuition fees (for July & Aug), my housing contract coming to end (by July 31) and other administrative issues bogged my mind so badly that I could not concentrate on my work properly.
On 5 July 2012, my close friend here in TU Delft from aerospace engineering also graduated with an excellent score in this thesis and he also secured a top notch job in a reputed firm. Both of us were planning to graduate together in June and then go on a small vacation before heading back to India for a longer vacation but with me not graduating that plan did not materialize (for me at least). The week before 5 July, there were a group of people all graduating, acquiring their masters degree, my Chinese roomie too had got his degree. All this stuff happening around me and me being helpless for not graduating had put in a lot of mental pressure on my brain. I was wondering, people out there are graduating and celebrating and look at me, still stuck for a couple more months just because July is vacation time and almost everyone in the university is on leave ( forgot to mention that here in TU Delft if you don't graduate by June end then its definitely going to be either in Aug or beyond). Added to that most of the Indians who graduated had secured either a job or some research position and I was still hanging in the air with no certainty as to what am I going to do next and where will I be headed ( things for me were in the pipeline and had not materialized yet). There were questions being asked back home to me, what is the ROI (return on investment) for the huge tuition fees that my parents have paid for me. All these things, viz, people graduating around me and me not able to graduate in June, they securing jobs and my undecided near term future put me really in state of mind where it was killing. The sucky & sinking feeling that one gets in his heart when things don't go your way is exactly what I was experiencing. I was literally on the verge of crying but big boys don't cry.
Even though you try to be patient and calm, the mind doesn't allow you to. The mind is fickle and keeps imagining things and tries to give you the worst case scenarios. In my case I was wondering what if I had to spend 4 months more on my thesis work, then I have to renew my visa, which costs 150 euros, I have to start searching for a house, which in Delft is quite tough to find and I have to spend extra time when all others are enjoying out there. Well these things have not yet happened and by God's grace I hope it does not happen and I graduate in time in August. In times such as this one needs moral support and that's exactly what my mom and brother provided, giving me hope that something is going to click and things are going to work my way. So that's it, here I am patiently waiting for the third week of August, the week that will relieve me of all mental pressure.
